Chris Christie and Bridgegate

In all seriousness, who the fuck would name their kid Christopher James Christie? You have to have the imagination of a goldfish to do that. Or you got knocked up by accident and hate the kid before he's even born.

Actually, theory 2 might explain why he's such a bully. 

Well, he can say adios to his 2016 presidential bid. Even if he gets the nomination (remember, the GOP did actually give the nomination to Romney) he'll never win the election. I doubt CC would have gotten it, but certainly not after this.

Imagine; 

PRESIDENT CHRISTIE: The president of India made a joke about how much currie I ate. We are at DEFCON 1. Nuke them!

SECRETARY OF DEFENSE: But sir, is this really a reason to go to war? Nuclear war?

PRESIDENT CHRISTIE: Don't make me go all Bon Jovi on your ass. Just do it!

I have three scenarios where I go over Niagara Falls in barrel. Chris Christie becoming president is one of them.