Independence Day

Down in the hole
Jesus tries to crack a smile
Beneath another shovel load

And I heard it in the wind
And I saw it in the sky
And I thought it was the end
And I thought it was the 4th of July
-Soundgarden

Mom reminded me I should blog. It had been a while. 

I wanted to say; "I live with you!" 

But I knew what she meant. 

Every time I sat down to blog, I was overwhelmed with how to relate how the first three days after surgery. It was physical pain like I had never experienced. This pain sucked in a whole new way. I couldn't bend in 20 different ways. The simplest actions resulted in pain that made me cry like a baby. 

But today, the Doc cleared me to play drums next weekend, which will be awesome. 

Mel told me, "Okay, but no drum solos."

So I am on the mend. A unpleasant episode is ending. Now I just have to find a place to live and decide if I am going to stay in this job. My boss is an OCD nutcase, and came right out and told me that he wants to fire me. Why he just doesn't do it is beyond me. He's always telling me what I think and how much it pisses him off. SNORE!

He doesn't know anything about the way I think. But I know how he thinks, because I used to have OCD just as bad as his. But I went to therapy. I started taking medicine. I did 18 months of cognitive therapy, where you learn to reprogram your brain and face your deepest darkest fears. And I did it. I overcame my OCD. So he can bite my shiny metal ass if he thinks he knows me. 

I have a plan. And once that plan is completed, I'll plot my next move. It's not pleasant, going to work everyday, knowing that you boss is plotting to axe you. But they need me. We keep bringing on new clients without enough sales people to fill the orders. Only one of us has made goal so far. A new guy starts Monday, but it'll take him 120 days to ramp up, at best. If he lasts more than a week.

But I will make goal this month. I go to work everyday with a sense of pride. He can't beat me down, even after attacking me the second day I was back from the operation. I was forged in the fires of a father he treated us an unforgivable burden. I was cooled off in the waters of a loving mother who sacrificed everything for Mel and I, and accepted parenting as a never-ending full-time job. 

What was created was something unbreakable. An intelligent, compassionate, relentless force of human will that never shirks from getting his hands dirty when it is the only option left available to him.

With your head down in the pig bin
Saying "keep on digging"

-Pink Floyd

So open a beer or have a glass of wine and enjoy. It's Independence Day.