Other Roads

Speak to me of summer
Long winters longer than time can remember
The setting up of other roads
To travel on in old accustomed ways

I still remember the talks by the water
The proud sons and daughter
That knew the knowledge of the land
Spoke to me in sweet accustomed ways

-Yes

Mañana, Mum will come up to sign the papers and do the walk through. We'll go out to dinner, and after that, she may stay or may take Mully home. 

Mully has been just fine for the last few days, but he will be so happy that he will lose his mind when he sees Mum. I might do the same thing.

I never figured I'd live with Mum for 2 years. And I never thought it would be so smooth. She told me it will be very quiet without me. I love that the woman is so understated. I figured that by now, she would have had Mel off me. But Mel was always fond of me too.

The Way the Big Wheel Spins

Wheel goes round, landing on a twist of faith
Taking your chances, you'll have the right answers
When the final judgment begins

Wheel goes round, landing on a leap of fate
Life redirected in ways unexpected
Sometimes the odd number wins
The way the big wheel spins

-Rush 


Saturday. 9:17 AM. The world wakes and a life changing event will take place in about 50 hours. Mum makes her triumphant return to Jersey. And I, for reasons that are difficult to extrapolate, am staying in CT. For now.

When I quit my job, which is only a matter of when, I'll open my job search to any number of in New England or the Mid-Atlantic. "Spin the wheel and see where she lands! And you got..., Maryland!" 

Fuck! The only red-neck cracker state of the bunch! Shit. Even Delaware would be better.

But there's no need to get ahead of myself. Jersey, Maine, Vermont, New Hampshire, Rhode Island, Virginia, DC, and North Carolina.

I wonder, if I could find work, if I wouldn't enjoy living in a big town, out in the country. I've lived in or very near to Metropolises all my life, excepting, Ansonia. It's a quiet town. It's nice. But maybe this town around. Some place more scenic. In a town where they didn't kill the river and has signs posted about how often you can eat what you catch (I jest not, reader.) Yeah, near a non-toxic river - would that be so wrong?

Oh, I wish I had a river
I could skate away on
-Joni Mitchell

There are other states that interest me, but I don't want to move that far from Mom, Mel and Jan. I was an Atlantic Ocean away for over 5 years. Right now I want to be within driving distance, or a quick flight.

I did this 8 years ago, in 2006. Sue and I had separated. Where do I go? What do I do? I took an unconventional path, and that worked out pretty damn well. I lived the experiences of a lifetime. I'll just have to keep an open mind, feel which way the karma flows, and hope for the best. If it winds up with results anywhere within the ballpark of my time in Madrid, I'll be very happy. 

- - - 

The Move has taken place - Mum hath returned to the Motherland, New Jersey. I am scouring the place because the final walkthrough is mañana. It's the end of an era. There's a lot less furniture and a lot more space. 

Eyeballs Wide Open

(Turn and face the strain)
Ch-ch-Changes
Don't want to be a richer man
Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes
(Turn and face the strain)
Ch-ch-Changes
Just gonna have to be a different man
Time may change me
But I can't trace time
-  David Bowie


And the Mama; she leaves on Monday. It is going to be surreal living here without Mum. 

Mel and I always said, It's tough to raise a single-parent these days. And now..;

Wednesday morning at five o'clock as the day begins
Silently closing her bedroom door
Leaving the note that she hoped would say more
She goes downstairs to the kitchen clutching her hankerchief
Quietly turning the backdoor key
Stepping outside she is free

She (We gave her most of our lives)
Is leaving (Sacrificed most of our lives)
Home (We gave her everything money could buy)
She's leaving home after living alone
For so many years (Bye bye)
-The Beatles

But I am so happy for her. She's going back to the Motherland. Mel and Jan are right there so I think it will work out quite nicely. She's a brave one, Mum. 

I remember once I was having an asthma attack and she was getting ready to inject me with black market adrenaline she had bought from Jose Canseco's distant relative, also know as Steroid Papi. Just as she was about to pull the trigger, a bear burst through the door to my bedroom (I would have pissed myself, but I didn't have even enough air in my lungs to force my pee out.)

I still remember it like it was yesterday. She jabbed the syringe into the upper meat of my left arm. I was going to be okay and breathing comfortably soon, but what about the fucking bear?! As the bear came at her, she used her left arm to shield her face and hammered the syringe into its throat. Amazingly, she had hit the jugular directly. She tore it down to the right as she pulled it out. 

The bear was pissed! It roared and stepped forward. Now I was going to soil myself as well, (if I ever had enough air.) 

But suddenly it jolted forward, and this large brown bear, pulled itself backwards in an effort to take control. But by now, the blood was matting itself like a hairy waterfall down the bear's belly. When it went down, it pitched forward and hit the ground with it's chin. Three of it's front teeth spilled out.

"Take it easy, baby," she said. "Pamela Jean's got you now."

When I awoke the next day, it was almost 7 PM. The adrenaline had kept me up til noon. Mum said, "Don't sweat it. She had had three hours sleep worked all day and then somehow had cooked my all time favorite, beef wellington, in an hour and a half.

And the next time I lost a tooth, I got a dollar and the bear's three monstrous teeth which I still have to this day, and wear only when I go to a High Mass at the Vatican.)

Best mum ever!

True story.

Editor's Note; "In North Jersey, during the 70's and 80's, there were reports of brown bears showing up in very residential areas of New Jersey. How the bear was not noticed on the Boulevard, how it broke and entered, and why it appeared on the second floor, are inexplicable. Mum never reported it. She always had a few bags of lye around for "situations." Mel buried it in the backyard in the middle of the night.

Dodos and Chips

Mum is out with the college friends on Broadway, the last time she'll have to drive all the way down from CT. Good for her. I think it would be a good idea for Mum to get one of those First Alert buttons, in case she ever fell and couldn't get to a phone. Melissa was more of a mind to drug her and have Janet put a tracking chip in her buttocks, where she would never see it. I told her that I was against the idea of "tagging" Mom, and just kind of unsettled with the idea of them seeing her butt.

But I digress; I am cleaning and I have miles to go before I sleep. 

- The Mets are getting no-hit by a rookie Cuban picture. It's only his fifth start, but they have no hits and the end of 6.


Murphy broke it up in the 8th. Well done!

---

Today, I decided I will be looking for a new job. Work is the Dodo's Nest, because they make idiotic mistakes and won't survive.

The Mum Baton Pass

It's been a while, so pardon me. Things have been busy. Mum is moving in ten days and there is much to be done. Then, on Jul 28, Mel and I do the Mum baton pass, as Mum goes back to the Motherland; Jersey.

Mum can take care of herself. She's in great shape. But I feel better that Mel and Jan will be close. Otherwise, I would have had to install more surveillance in her new flat than I already have.

World Cup

11:23 AM, 4th o' July. Today and mañana are the quarter finals of the World Cup. And here, dear reader are my predictions:

Germany 2
France 1

Columbia 1 (wins in penalty kicks)
Brazil 1

mañana

Argentina 1
Belgium 0

Costa Rica 1 (wins in penalty kicks)
France 1

Costa Rica is a heavy underdog, but I believe they will CONCACAF France (they are the last team left from our association (North America, Central America and the Caribbean.)

Independence Day

Down in the hole
Jesus tries to crack a smile
Beneath another shovel load

And I heard it in the wind
And I saw it in the sky
And I thought it was the end
And I thought it was the 4th of July
-Soundgarden

Mom reminded me I should blog. It had been a while. 

I wanted to say; "I live with you!" 

But I knew what she meant. 

Every time I sat down to blog, I was overwhelmed with how to relate how the first three days after surgery. It was physical pain like I had never experienced. This pain sucked in a whole new way. I couldn't bend in 20 different ways. The simplest actions resulted in pain that made me cry like a baby. 

But today, the Doc cleared me to play drums next weekend, which will be awesome. 

Mel told me, "Okay, but no drum solos."

So I am on the mend. A unpleasant episode is ending. Now I just have to find a place to live and decide if I am going to stay in this job. My boss is an OCD nutcase, and came right out and told me that he wants to fire me. Why he just doesn't do it is beyond me. He's always telling me what I think and how much it pisses him off. SNORE!

He doesn't know anything about the way I think. But I know how he thinks, because I used to have OCD just as bad as his. But I went to therapy. I started taking medicine. I did 18 months of cognitive therapy, where you learn to reprogram your brain and face your deepest darkest fears. And I did it. I overcame my OCD. So he can bite my shiny metal ass if he thinks he knows me. 

I have a plan. And once that plan is completed, I'll plot my next move. It's not pleasant, going to work everyday, knowing that you boss is plotting to axe you. But they need me. We keep bringing on new clients without enough sales people to fill the orders. Only one of us has made goal so far. A new guy starts Monday, but it'll take him 120 days to ramp up, at best. If he lasts more than a week.

But I will make goal this month. I go to work everyday with a sense of pride. He can't beat me down, even after attacking me the second day I was back from the operation. I was forged in the fires of a father he treated us an unforgivable burden. I was cooled off in the waters of a loving mother who sacrificed everything for Mel and I, and accepted parenting as a never-ending full-time job. 

What was created was something unbreakable. An intelligent, compassionate, relentless force of human will that never shirks from getting his hands dirty when it is the only option left available to him.

With your head down in the pig bin
Saying "keep on digging"

-Pink Floyd

So open a beer or have a glass of wine and enjoy. It's Independence Day.